The Canadian sex scandal that broke in the Fall of 2014 sent some dry heave ripples though the image of celebrity radio host Jian Ghomeshi. The publicity shot of the star posed against the bordello red of the CBC “Q” soundstage started to move for me, as though animated by a horror flick’s lazily turning wind machine, threatening to lift the image-turned-curtain and reveal … A sad sack teddy slumped on an empty stage. Jian’s teddy bear as I picture it would have terribly matted ears and its obsidian eyes would be fathomless black surfaces, picked out by the coldest and bluest of spotlights.
The fifteen allegations that surfaced made him a two-faced public figure. His voice, which a speech pathologist studying the perfect radio voice might characterize in such breathless terms as ‘warm and resonant’, ‘powerful and emotive’, that voice was a mask. His persona at the CBC’s“Q”was overproduced. It dripped like a honeycomb with Canadian virtues: socially progressive and inclusive, it was much too sweet to be real.
When the truth was revealed though, it came in garbled form. Oracular pronouncements are known for their froth and gibber historically, and in this case the god-man Jian must have dictated his FaceBeatitude to a shell-shocked underling. The “human right” he referred to was actually a human rite, and a very timely sexy rite at that.
Ghomeshi is really the second coming of an Aztec god and as hard as that is to swallow, please control your gag reflex. Even his alleged M.O. points to his divine status: the flattery, the skillfully applied knuckles and neck throttling techniques used to subdue and control the chosen ones, all of it mirrors the painstaking “victim management” employed by the Aztecs. “Mexica human sacrifices required passivity, even a form of complicity, on the part of an adult victim.” p.105.
So it is imperative that now in the hour of our species death, we acknowledge him and our duty towards him. With climate change signalling our certain doom we are woefully ill-equipped to reverse our course. We’ve embraced a libertarian ideal of hyper-individualization, which has made us incapable of concerted action. And as if in magical response to our plight, the race of slavering god-men have arisen. We owe them a debt in blood, just as our ancestors did. In our abject political impotence, what do we have to lose? As archaeologist Timothy Taylor explains in “The Buried Soul: How Humans Invented Death”, the Aztec practice of human sacrifice is necessary, because:
“…in their minds the belief was fixed that if these (people) weren’t given up then the cosmic order would collapse and every living thing would be plunged into chaotic darkness.” –p. 103.
Lie back on the killing stone, humanity. Crack open your rib cage, let the obsidian knife carve out your still beating heart. Your life spark is all you have to offer against total extinction and Mr. Ghomeshi et al are definitely the road to salvation. ‘Obey’ as the graffiti says, obey and submit.